Knowing is one thing, Doing it is another thing

A hug? Does it sound familiar to you? It’s certainly one of the last thing I would think of. But yet, there’s something in a hug that…that… I just felt..

It was during my first, wonderful, amazing,contending…yet i kinda missed some of the things that God had for me… church camp. Having a C personality, I tend to detach or perhaps it is just a nature of human to isolate themselves when they are depressed…..

So, on the second night of the camp, Ps Norman made an altar call for those who wanted fresh encounter with God….again… At that time, part of me wanted to go up, the other were influenced by the sudden appearance of voices saying that I have had enough, that I do not need it anymore…It was hard to recognise the source of those voices at that time, I was…..confused or perhaps deceived…

But then I went up, I waited…. waited for the pastor to come and pray for me, waited for the Holy Spirit to fall upon me, waiting…. 

If only I waited for a little longer, if only I stirred up my Spirit more, perhaps I would encounter Him, perhaps I did not need to suffer a little longer, perhaps I could enjoy the remaining days of my camp, but I chose not to, I went back without breaking the chains. Ran to toilet, trying to let my feelings have their freedom to express themselves , it didn’t happen. Went back to the sanctuary, hide myself at one of four adjacent corners… sitting, looking at people encountering Him, realizing that I had made a wrong decision. Then, I just continued to stay in that mood… which again…..was wrong.

Then, someone I knew, passed by. I tried to avoid looking at her,she just came and HUGGED me. No words came out of her mouth which is the wisest thing to do at that time, for after that some people came and talked to me but I kind of didn’t want to listen them, but on the other side I didn’t want to be rude, so I replied….reluctantly.

But the best was yet to make its way through. The Pastor asked us to gather and few people were asked to distribute the ministries option form, when SHE happened to pass by in frontof me, saw the distress in my face, handed the remaining pieces of the forms and HUGGED me. Tears were just sprinting down its invisible tracks. My feelings had their freedom. My fortress was broken down. God started to fill up the empty spaces.

It was the same feeling when the first time I came to my Father’s house, and the Pastor asked us to give each other a hug, and SHE just turned to me and HUGGED me.

There is power in a hug….

2005 is going to its end, a new year is just round the corner…

what have i done throughout this year? Have i done something purposeful? Something that pleases Him?

oh first of all, I would like to thank God for whatever thaT had happened throughout this year, whether it’s good or challenges for it is written in Romans 8:28 and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose. So, whatever challenges and difficulties that we faced, He allowed it to happen to mold us, to shape us to become more and more like Him.

this year, has been a year of learning to trust(for me). For some, it isn’t a big deal, but for some1 who used to depend 100% on her own strength, it’s a struggle. but He is faithful, which btw the word that i would use to describe Him, He taught me how to trust, He guided me all the time without fail though I doubted most of the time…leaning on my understanding. Besides that, again it’s a year of learning time management, hahaha if you’re a student, esp an art student, you’ll understand what I mean…. it’s also been a year of me transforming to a panda hahaha black eyes…

A year where I learned what is it to be called family, through the great church camp that I went to, really an eye-opening experience

this is also a year of going to the next level. Learning to rely on the grace, the power of prayer, and simply faith. A year of adding more people to my list for God,a year of a higher standard,a year of setting an example, a year of learning to speak up, a year of revelation knowledge, a year of more passion, a year of understanding what obedience can reward, a year of finally knowing what faith really is, a year of not relying on my own strength, another year of serving, a year that functions as a stepping stone for the coming one…of course a year of strategizing…

that’s all from ambassador with serial number of 471986….