Knowing is one thing, Doing it is another thing

     It’s been couple of months since I left, but I the memories are still fresh in my mind. Yes, I am talking about my familia, the ECF-ers, KL. I was browsing some not-that-old pictures and 3 years of life experience that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

     It was where I was found by Him, where I heard the greatest love story, loved (still doing that) and be loved, where I learnt the word "servant" and embraced it, where I volunteered and loving it, where I develop…i mean preserved my child-ish side (yeah KIDZONE rawks!), bullied by kids (my poor new t-shirt, my hand-me-down pants and my socks; discipled n disciplined by great leaders, made some people laughed and laughed myself, cried together, prayed together, spent nights in church to do deco, cleaned n rearranged the entire library, arranged chairs, slept over people’s house, welcome people for sleepover, helped people moved out and moved myself, broke the breaking news (McJie), photostated things, bound manuals, counted t-shirts, sold t-shirts, sang together, shouted, danced, n jumped together; went out to eat very late at night (yummy mamak n burgers hihi), spent the whole night talking (you are responsible for this CHAROWLYN YONG), spent the whole night watching movies…FRIENDS was one of them (thanx CHIAM), doing assignments, cooked together both for sendirian berhad and also for the parties, went campings with the whole church, took pictures, attended weddings, be chi muis (no idea how to spell that), celebrated birthdays, supported those who went for baptism (and been baptised myself), learnt to care for people, teased people n was teased, ‘kacau’ people (sorry dancers), greeted people (hello office people), played games, involved in a skit, hugged and was hugged (both by force n permission), surprised people, visited orphanage, gained weight, called strangers for hot dog parties, for SNL, slept on the couch, made cold nescafe for *ahem capt’n (remember ah, 1/4 hot water first n must quickly stir it then you add the remaining 3/4 cold water), bought gifts and received mine too, learned to encourage and been encouraged, was ministered, attended classes and conferences, squeezed 9 people in a kelisa (sorry se wei), witnessed JUDY…I mean someone pumped diesel into barney (an unser that uses PETROL) and laughed, heard testimonies and testified myself, learned humility, learned how to lead and be led, couple of goodbyes a long the way which one of them was contributed by me……..and this could go on and on, well I guess what I would like to say is I was changed by changed lives =D

     Thank you God for these great people. Miss you all. Once an ECF-ers, no turning back (that baptism song is playing in my mind now =D)

As I sat down in the restaurant yesterday, scribbling and doodling for some packaging designs, my uncle called me. He sounded serious for once, and immediately I asked myself, "Oh gosh, is he gonna ask questions about God? Ok, God help me out here."
It turned out to be THE question that I am more than willing not to even think about.

Dreams, it was. He opened by first saying about the four of us who had kinda graduated and who is going to take over the restaurant since the second generations have reached their prime and now are declining in their productivity (in a way), hence the third generation should rise up. I felt so burdened about it, not that I have no desire whatsoever for it, it’s just not part of my plan, not part of my dream. I have no adequate skill in managing a restaurant, cooking skill isn’t superb at all, and communication…I stutter.

My eldest sister is in the fashion line, already have sort of customers of her own, my younger sister is on her way to singapore for chemical engineering. My cousin’s stuck, too. And here I am, sort of jobless, waiting for the one and only application, and still thinking of what to do with life next. If I were to get rejected from that application, should I start dreaming of taking another path in my life, towards business (yeah imagine Harvard Business School haha too much Trump), taking over the restaurant, since there’s no one else in the line. What am I going to do? Tempted to *sigh* but I shouldn’t, a friend told me once. My pastor told me something else before I left, but I guess he just doesn’t know everything.

Still holding on to Jer 29:11. Whatever it may be, let it be Your will.