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There are times where I doubted my decision of going back instead of staying back and looked for a job in KL. The main reason was because of my church, ECF there. I felt secure in a way that there are great leaders who I could rely on whenever I’m going through something. But I knew I have to go back.
So, here I am, some people might call it "wilderness" or others would be "exile". Neither of it is actually good in our definition but well… God is always Romans 8:28. As I was reading this particular book yesterday at the airport (yes I find peace in hectic places like that and for the fact that it is faaaaaar away from anywhere =D), I somehow arrived in the chapter where it talks about the wilderness and how Jesus had been there (which means He understands exactly what you’re going through) + overcame it without fallen into sin! Luke 4:1-13
I guess everyone knows exactly how it feels to be here, "parched promises, shifting commitments, burning anger, miraging hope…" (a portion from the book) and so as I couldn’t bear it anymore, I ran to the One who had overcome this before. It was exactly 7 days of fasting and prayer and last night before I went to bed I told Him that I believed He would speak to me the next day.
One word that I would always use to describe God; Faithful.
This morning as I opened one of my daily devotion emails randomly, there it goes an answer. The hmm…amazing thing about it was that the content of the email was exactly the same with the "Letter to the Exile" post in my Grey Room blog, Jeremiah29:4-14. A coincidence? I don’t think so.
Thank You, Jesus.
Now, I don’t doubt my decision of going back anymore, in this "wilderness" I learnt to rely on the Holy Spirit Himself instead of my leaders. There are doubts of whether I heard it right or was it my own thoughts or feelings, but one thing I’m sure is that God never even blinks in watching me.
Guess there would be a time where you just need to learn to swim on your own ( I don’t mean without God), neither do I mean that we don’t need leaders. It’s just that there would times where your leaders aren’t going to be there and all you have is Him (who is always there).
Thank you leaders. =D
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